Do Not Call Me Hokage Sama!
by dattebayo1213
Summary: A story I came up with before I joined up. Please R&R! Rated T for language... mainly Tsunade's... And, if you're looking for any yaoi, yuri, or pedophilism, you won't find it here.
1. Chapter 1

Dattebayo1213 Writes…

[Do Not Call Me Hokage-Sama: A NaruxHina Next Generation Story]

DISCLAIMER: I DEFINITELY DO NOT OWN NARUTO, BECAUSE KISHIMOTO-SAN AND HINATA DO!!!!!

SUMMARY: Naruto and the rest of the Konoha 12 are around 25 now. Naruto has a son, Ryu, a daughter, Yuri, and Hinata is expecting their next child (or children...) Sasuke has a son with Sakura, Ren, and they are expecting twin daughters. Naruto will become Hokage in this story.

Naruto's thoughts: _Italics_

Kyuubi: **bold**

CHAPTER 1:

"Hey! Dobe! Hokage-sama wants to see you!" Sasuke yelled. He walked over to me, while restraining his son, Ren, so he wouldn't kill him. "Man, this kid is just all Sakura..." he thought, while walking over to the blonde man who was running around with **his** son."Hey, DOBE! Hokage-sama wants to see you in her office, so get your butt over to the Hokage Tower, now if you want even a decent shot at becoming Rokudaime!"

"You evil TEME!" I said angrily, "Do not call me 'Dobe' in front of my son!"

"Daddy? What does 'teme' mean?" five year old Ryu Uzumaki asked.

"Ummm... 'Teme' means...uhh... just don't say that. ESPECIALLY, in front of mommy." I said.

"OK, Daddy!" Ryu said and ran over to the monkey bars.

"Uhh, Sasuke? Can I ask you a small favor?" I said.

"Let me guess, go in to the Hokage's office and pretend to be you? NO!!!!!!" Sasuke yelled

"Daddy, don't yell. It scares me..." Ren said quietly.

_Inner Ren: Dad! Shut UP!!!_

Sasuke's phone rang. "Uhh... hello? This is Uchiha Sasuke. Who are you? Oh, Sakura. OK, I'll be home soon. Just got to get Dobe to the Hokage's office for some reason that is unknown. Just Chidori him? OK!" he said and closed the phone.

"On second thought...I'll go. You just bring him home for me, OK?" I said and disappeared.

"Why'd he have to learn that Hiraishin no Jutsu? He's pretty much everywhere, now!" Sasuke groaned and led the two boys toward the Uzumaki home.

**TWO HOURS AND A WHOLE LOT OF SCREAMING TSUNADE LATER:**

"Hey, Hina-chan! I'm home!" I yelled. I carefully took off my shoes and walked into the house. My wife and son were at the kitchen table arguing about what to have for dinner."God! I can hear them from all the way over here!!!" I muttered.

"Ramen!" Ryu yelled.

"Rice!" Hinata said angrily.

"Ramen!" Ryu yelled again, trying to get his mom to agree.

"RAMEN AND RICE!!!!" I yelled, sick of all the arguing.

Yuri snapped her head around and looked at me as if to say, "Thank god you're back!" If I knew her well, I bet she had sat here listening to this argument for a while now…

"Hello, Naru-kun!" Hinata said.

"Daddy!!!! Did the old lady let you become Hokage yet?" Ryu asked.

"No. She said she had one last test for me." I said, looking tense.

"What is it?" Ryu said.

"You'll find out tomorrow, little buddy! So will your little friends. Here, Hinata! I got all the rest of the invitations out except yours. Read it out loud!" I said.

"If you got the damn invitation, get yourself over to the Hokage Tower at 2 PM to watch Uzumaki Naruto get his butt kicked in his final test to become Hokage. If he passes or fails, he can still be Hokage. All the lameness is because I kind of feel sorry for the poor guy... He's been working for me day and night for the past TWO YEARS for god's sake! He doesn't really know much about this, so, all of you, especially Hinata, don't read it out loud to him and/or Ryu and/or Sakura, either. She'd probably tell him. And the little brat, well, he's a brat. Thank you and SHOW THE HELL UP!!! From, Tsunade." Hinata said. "Wow! I got mentioned in a letter by the Hokage!"

"Wow! You're still happy even though you just got busted for exactly what you were doing and baa-chan's not even here! How does she do this stuff?" I asked in wonder.

"Hey, Daddy? I'm sleepy. Can we go sleep now?" Ryu asked.

_I, apparently, never came back after tucking Ryu in, so Hinata, apparently, came to check on us. She found me on the bed with Ryu on top of me. I thought I did!_

**Back to the story!!!!**

THE NEXT MORNING, CIRCA 9 AM...

"GOOD MORNING, YOUTHFUL UZUMAKIS! THE RESPECTED (and extremely youthful) HOKAGE HAS HONORED ME WITH THE (extremely youthful) JOB OF CALLING ON YOU!!!!" Lee yelled.

I tumbled out of bed when I heard the word 'Hokage'. I opened the door to find Bushy-Brows.

"WHY THE HECK ARE YOU WAKING ME UP, BUSHY-BROWS? SHOUDN'T YOU BE TRAINING WITH YOUR DAMN YOUTHFUL MASTER GAI? ANYWAYS, I'M SLEEPY, BECAUSE I HAVEN'T HAD A GOOD NIGHTS SLEEP FOR ABOUT THREE WEEKS! GOOD NIGHT, LEE!" I yelled and closed the door.

"Why did you wake me up then?" Sasuke asked, rubbing his eyes.

"Because I wanted you to help me." Lee replied.

"Awww! Damn you! My kid was crying at the top of his lungs because I left the house so damn early!!!" Sasuke yelled. "I'm going home!"

"LEE! IS THAT YOU? MY YOUTHFUL STUDENT?" a voice asked.

"GAI-SENSEI! MY YOUTHFUL TEACHER!" Lee yelled.

"The springtime of youth will soon be over! Let's go train before it ends!" Gai said in a quiet voice.

"Alright, Lee! I'm here. What did you want to tell me?" I asked, calmly. Ryu was standing behind him yelling loudly. "I'll be back in 5, OK?" Ryu nodded and went inside.

"The extremely youthful Hokage..." Lee began.

"CUT THE YOUTHFUL STUFF!!!!!" I yelled.

"OK, FINE! The Hokage requests your presence at her office right now." Lee said.

"That's a lot better. Now I'll leave. Goodbye." I said and quickly made the hand-seals for Hiraishin no Jutsu. I appeared in Tsunade's office a couple seconds later.

"Hokage-sama? You called me?" I said, hesitantly.

"Yeah...what's up, brat?" Tsunade asked.

"Arghhh! I had to lock the door and convince a screaming five year old that I'd be back within 5 minutes for this????" Naruto yelled.

"Shut up, brat! It's 9 AM!" Tsunade said.

"I KNOW!!!!" Naruto groaned.

_Arghhh! 4:02! I've only got 4 damn minutes! Hurry up, baa-chan!_

"Ahhh. About the Hokage thing..." Tsunade trailed off.

KYUUBI:** Nice job, kit! You're finally about to achieve your life's dream!**

"Yeah... Come here at 2 PM, OK? BYE!!!!" she said and smiled happily.

Naruto shook his head quickly to clear his head and stared at Tsunade. (He's forgotten the events of the night before.) He shrugged and looked at his watch.

_Holy cow! 1 minute 52 seconds!!!!! I better get home!!!! NOW! I'm freaking out!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!_

"I'm going home now, baa-chan! My five year old son will be attempting to destroy the home by now. Bye-bye!" I said and walked out.

"Is there something wrong?" Tsunade wondered, "He usually just transports himself right out of here! Maybe he's worried... Nah! Naruto's almost never worried!" she said and returned to her paperwork.

ABOUT 80 SECONDS LATER:

"Hey! Ryu! Hinata-chan!!!!! I'm home!!!!" Naruto yelled.

"DADDY!!!!! IT'S ONLY BEEN 4 MINUTES AND 28 SECONDS!!!" Ryu yelled and ran into his arms.

"Yeah. I know. I never go back on my word, because that's my ninja way!" Naruto said. Ryu nodded and ran off. Hinata peeked around the corner and smiled.

"That's what I liked the most about you, Naru-kun..." she whispered.

For me, two o'clock came just way too quickly. I ate my miso ramen and ran over to Tsunade's office.

'Don't exert yourself, brat!" Baa-chan said, ruffling my hair. "You're going to need your entire monstrous amount of chakra for what I'm going to do to you!"

"Bring it on, Baa-chan...Bring it on!" I said.

She led me outside. "Why the hell is everyone here?" I asked.

"They're going to watch your butt kicked today!" Tsunade said, giggling.

The End Of Chapter 1!

~dattebayo1213


	2. Chapter 2

Dattebayo1213

CHAPTER 2: NOT IF I CAN HELP IT, DATTEBAYO!

'Not if I can help it, baa-chan!" I yelled.

"Good. Now I'm going to put you into one of your worst dreams and see how you handle it. See ya, brat!" she said and walked away. I smiled at her and shook my head vigorously to clear it. "How'll you do that?" I asked.

"It's called the Seisoku za Asumu no Jutsu. Literally living the nightmare. It's a mind based jutsu like the Yamanaka clan's." Baa-chan said.

"I'll be subjected to mental torture for as long as you see fit so you can decide if I can be Hokage? OK. I'm ready." She began to make some complicated hand signs. I felt a push on my back and I dropped into a mini-Konoha, right in front of my doorstep.

INSIDE THE SEISOKU ZA ASUMU NO JUTSU:

I opened the door and walked in. There was absolutely no noise. "Wait. There's something wrong here.

"Hey! Hinata! I'm home!" I yelled. "Hey, Hinata!"

OUTSIDE:

'Get Hinata, the kids and all pregnant women out of here! I don't like where this is going!" Tsunade yelled.

"Isn't that, like, everyone but Sakura? I CAN DAMN HANDLE IT!!!!" Temari yelled.

"Fine. All pregnant women, but Hinata, can stay." Tsunade said.

"Why me?" Hinata asked.

"Naruto told me about this dream and you will not like it so leave and fast!!!" Tsunade yelled.

Shikamaru and Choji took her and the kids out of the area. They were back in a couple minutes. "From what Naruto told you, what movie rating would this be?" Shikamaru asked.

"Definitely R or NC-17." Tsunade said.

"Wow! Temari won't let me watch anything over PG-13!" Shikamaru yelled.

INSIDE:

I walked into the kitchen and found an Instant Ramen on the counter. "Hi, Naru-kun! I got this for you. I'll probably be out getting the food when you come home anyway, so don't worry and get some rest. Aishiteru. Hinata.'

I walked over to the microwave and found blood on the counter...lots of it. I looked down and saw something that I never ever wanted to see. Hinata...dead.

"Oh my frickin hell! HINATA, wake up!!!!" Ughhh! I better tell Sakura to get her butt over here; I suck at this medical stuff. Ryu, get your butt over here." I yelled. I ran into my son's room and saw an ANBU standing behind him.

"Daddy..." he whimpered, "Save me, Daddy!"

Before I could do anything, the ANBU stabbed my son in the back before my eyes. He fell down into my arms. "Daddy, they got mommy..." he said."I tried to get baa-san, but I couldn't get the phone down because the guy backed me into a wall. I'm tired...I sleep now, OK?"

He fell asleep for the last time in my lap. "Dammit! I'll find her myself."

In minutes, I was in Sasuke's house. "Hey, Sakura! I need some damn help! My wife and child are frickin dying! Get your butt over here now!!!!!!!!" I walked into their bedroom and found them with Ren, dead too.

"What the hell would they want with teme?" I whispered and ran outside. "Why can't I have a normal life with normal friends who I really like FOR A LONG TIME!????"

**Hello, kit! Having fun, huh? You don't know that much about grief, do you? Well, what you're feeling now is how I felt when the third Hokage killed my wife and kits! You like it?**

"NO! I DON'T! NOW SHUT UP AND LEAVE ME ALONE! I HAVE TO GO KILL THE PEOPLE WHO DID THIS!!!!" I yelled.

**No, kit. You're staying here and I'll torture you till you die...**

"So, you've been holding back for the last 25 years?" I said.

**Yeah, worthless baka. This got taken away because you don't deserve it at all. I'll give them back in exchange for freedom.**

"Wait...You say freedom, right? But doesn't that mean..."

**Yes, you die, and then I'll be free. Then you can have all of them back.**

"Yeah, but anyway, I never get to stay with them either way, right?"

**You're pretty smart now, baka. Maybe it was the Sannin's influence.**

'Yeah, Tsunade-sama's is a pretty cool boss!"

**All right, kit. We've held it off for long enough. You live or they live?**

"A shinobi's first duty is to his village, Kyuubi. I'll live and serve Konoha until they don't need me anymore. Then, you can kill me." I said.

**Yeah, kit...But you'd die for these, "precious people" as you call them, right? Even the man you call "Teme", right?**

"Yes. I would." I said.

**Good, then you will.**

"Fine, take me... But don't harm anyone anymore right?" I asked.

**Fine. I won't. Well, I guess this is goodbye, kit.**

"Yup. See ya!" I said.

I felt like I was being ripped open and I heard a rush of air and a nasal voice yelling the word freedom. I felt extremely sleepy and yawned. I closed my mouth and heard the voice say, **"There ends the legacy of Uzumaki Naruto, the guy who might have become the next Hokage. Well, before I killed him."**

Everything started swirling. I tried to stand but I couldn't. I closed my eyes and let the darkness take over.

OUTSIDE:

TSUNADE'S POV:

"All right, end of show. Everyone get up and all medical ninja come with me." I said.

"Man!" Temari said. "I now know why Gaara's so protective of Matsuri."

"Yup! That kind of stuff is what goes through a jinchuuriki's mind all day long!" I said.

Naruto lay, bleeding profusely on the floor. He smiled up at me, "Do I get to be Hokage, now?"

"Hang on to life for another forty-five minutes and you will be." I said. Oh, yeah! Also, stop calling me baa-chan."

"That can be done...but I know another little boy who won't and he's making his frickin' way here now." Naruto said.

Sakura gasped in awe, "You **have** grown up, baka!"

"Dad? Daaaad? Mommy wants to go home now! DAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!" Ryu said.

He saw Naruto on the floor and yelled, "If you don't get up within 5 seconds, I will kill you, dattebayo!"

He looked away and saw Tsunade sitting his dad up. "Hello baa-chan!" He said brightly, forgetting the fact that he was worried about his dad.

"Oh my ******* GOD! This is what you meant, brat?" I asked Naruto.

He grinned and asked, "Guess who taught him that?", after takings his hands off of Ryu's ears.

"I am going to kill you after this, Uzumaki Naruto!" I yelled.

He closed his eyes.

"WAKE UP DAD! I'LL GO TELL ON YOU TO MOMMY RIGHT NOW! I SAID, RIGHT NOW! Oh, forget it..." Ryu said and walked off.

"Ok, there was two invitations that I forgot to give Naruto, because Shikamaru-kun was supposed to handle them. I don't think he did…So Temari, could you please get your sister-in-law and her husband and their children as well to keep Ryu busy…" Tsunade-sama kept on going and going. I dropped off, unable to handle the stress, hearing my son yell, " If you don't wake up right now I am going to kill you, dad!" Sometimes that boy was just like his mother.

TWO DAYS LATER AT THE KONOHA HOSPITAL:

NARUTO'S POV:

"Hey, Sasuke! His eyes are opening! Well, kind of, not really." a voice yelled. _Sakura...........SHUT UP!!_

"Hey DOBE! You can hear me right? THEN OPEN YOUR DAMN EYES!!!!" Sasuke yelled.

"Yeah...I'm listening, teme, I'm listening!" I grumbled and rubbed my eyes. "So, did I make it?" When teme nodded, that was seriously one of the best moments in my life! 'So...where's my kid? He's apparently going to kill me as soon as I wake up so I better get ready."

"Hey, Naruto? I've got a correction to make...It's not 'kid' it's 'kids." Sakura said.

"WHAT THE HELL? HINATA HAD THE KID AND NO ONE TELLS ME?" I yelled.

"Yup, that's the way it goes around here." Sasuke said. "No one told me when Ren was born. Not even YOU, Dobe!"

"I'm sorry..." I said. "What's the kid's name?"

"Oh, Hinata wanted to waitfor you to wake up to decide that. And Naruto… it's more than one kid…YOU CAN COME IN NOW, GUYS!!!" Sakura said.

"DAD! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!!!!!!!!!!!" Ryu yelled and jumped onto the bed. "OK! Maybe not."

'Hey, Dobe? Meet your sons." Sasuke yelled from out in the hallway.

He put a little girl into my arms. They looked exactly like me. Neon blue eyes, the spiky blonde hair and the same little smile. "I like these ones..." I said out loud.

"THESE ones? THESE ones?" Ryu said.

"But you're my special little buddy, right? I think the new guys on the block deserve some respect if not all respect, right?" I asked him.

"All right, I'll follow exactly what you told me when you said the kid… err… kids were going to be a boy... sorry, boys. Always protect your little brothers and if you're going to destroy Konoha, let him help and definitely, most definitely, make your sister help.' Ryu said.

"Naruto-kun? You actually said that?" Sakura asked, "That's so sweet!"

"My dad is awesome. That's why he says stuff like that. Of course, he's not awesome all the time. I dumped a bucket of water on his head a week ago and he got really, really mad." Ryu said.

"Hot or cold water?" Ren asked.

"Well, DUH! COLD!" Ryu said.

"That explains it." Ren said.

"Don't be a genius. They're hard to deal with." Ryu said.

"SHUT UP, YOU TROUBLESOME INGRATE!" someone else yelled. "And that will be Asuka and Isshin. About four and a half hours late, but at least they got here…"

"Hey! Haru! If you dumped cold water on your dad what would he do?" Ryu called down the hallway.

A short boy with messy black hair and big, round, black eyes walked in and said, "Well he'd get up and run after me like the wind with something sharp and deadly, so it'd be a pretty big risk…how much water?"

"Only one bucket!" Ryu replied innocently.

"That's not something I'd like first thing in the morning." He replied and laughed. The three boys ran out of the room laughing and a woman who looked quite like the boy walked in.

"Nice to meet you. I'm Asuka Nara, Haru's mother." she said. "Oh yeah, and Shikamaru's my brother in case you were wondering." She awkwardly held out her hand. I shook it.

"So…your kid's the blonde, hyperactive and extremely troublesome one, right? He's really polite!" she said, smiling brightly. "He says really cute stuff sometimes...Yeah; anyway, Temari-nee-chan's bringing Hinata-san in a couple of minutes with the baby. Just wanted to give you a heads up. It sounds like my lovely little freaks are fighting in the hall. Nice to meet you, Naruto-san."

"You too…you too." I said and rolled over.

"You'll be talking to that one a lot if you become Hokage." Tsunade said. "She and her brother are very useful strategists and she knows weapons almost as well as Tenten. Shikamaru calls her NineNine as a joke. Yeah, her kid… well, kids and your kid are, like, best friends.

"Kids?" I asked, confused. "I only saw one."

"She was blessed with two of the most destructive beings in this village who are under the age of five. Twins, too." Sakura said. "But they're well-behaved. Steer clear of the boy, his name's Haru, though, he looks innocent, but he's the real danger, not the girl, Ayame… and their brother's about six months old now, but you can see that he's taking after his siblings…"

Yuri walked in, quietly and softly, with Haru's twin at her heels. The girl, Ayame, saluted in front of Sakura. "One valuable human being delivered, Uchiha-sama!"

"Thanks Ayame." Sakura said and patted her shoulder, you can get back to whatever you were doing now.

"That was nothing… YES!!!!" Ayame yelled and ran outside.

"How are they related to Shikamaru again?" I asked, and Sakura laughed.

"Hey… dobe? We need the names…" Sasuke said, and I noticed that everyone was still waiting for the names.

"Iruka and Minato." I said quickly.

"Did you **just** come up with that?" someone drawled lazily from the corner. We all looked, expecting to see Shikamaru, but saw a lazy-looking, Uchiha-like man. He yawned. 'Sorry for the interruption. Actually, have you seen my wife? Angry lady, possible in the company of lazy-butt brother and is very much capable of killing damn near all of us?"

"ISSHIN!" Asuka yelled from across the hallway. "Oh shit…" he said and hid in the closet.

"Anyway… before that minor distraction, yeah… so, teme and wife of teme, you are the godparents… again… and Hinata and I will make sure nothing happens to us so you don't have a houseful of children." I said, and yawned.

"Guys?" I said. Everyone turned around. "When I become Hokage, don't call me Hokage-sama. It makes me feel somewhere around 1000. Baa… errr… Tsunade-sama made me practice referring to myself like that last week. Utterly horrible."

_I was well on my way to becoming Hokage, and I was happy._

The End!

~dattebayo1213


End file.
